What effects does a bad parenting have on a child’s emotional development and well-being?
This paper was written in June 2020 for the course Political Analysis taught at the department of Political Science. The main idea behind this paper was to discover what effects a bad parenting has on a child’s emotional development as well as well-being.
One of the most intriguing and fascinating topics to me has been the relationship between parents and a child. Having been observing different types of people, both friends and strangers, I could not help but ask myself questions such as: “Why are some individuals more successful, fulfilled and content than the others?’’ What makes a person unhappy, discontented, self-destructive? ’’ These are some of the questions that have been wandering through my mind for years now and thus agitated me to start researching more about this issue. Deliberating about it, I have contemplated how an individual’s personality and behavior may have been influenced, or even completely shaped, by a parenting style and a parent’s energy and personality. In this final semester paper, I am going to find a correlation between a bad parenting style and
1.child’s emotional development,
2. his or hers well-being, and eventually,
3.the overall quality of his or life.
To gather as much accurate findings as possible, the focus will be drawn to teenagers’ and young adults’ interpretation of their relationship with the parents (Stories, confessions, interviews).
In order to better understand the relationship between an individual’s behavior and a parenting style, some kind of theory would be needed for a better grasp of the issue. One of the numerous theories in psychology, behaviorism, is a systematic approach which aim is to explain the reason of a certain behavior of humans and animals. According to this theory, all behaviors are acquired through conditioning which is actually, an interaction with the environment. Strict behaviorists strongly believe that all behaviors are the result of experience. (Cherry, K.,2019 ) With that being said, the things we experience, shape our behavior. In the following chapter, I will research the relationship between the behavior of a child and parent’s conditioning.
Because the research deals with the perspective of the young adults on their relationship with the parents, and also with their perception on the quality of their life and problems they have to face daily, the data I will have to collect is going to be vastly primary and qualitative. This type of data is rich, descriptive, and will require some kind of an interpretation. The most reliable method to systematically describe the meaning of the qualitative data is “qualitative content analysis.’’ This method requires a good-formulated and clear research question, in the first place, collection of the material, creating and trying out the coding frame and finally, interpreting and presenting the results.
The topic around which this paper revolves is the problem of a bad parenting and its influences on a child. Consequently, the research question generated from it, is: What effects does a bad parenting have on a child’s development and emotional well-being? Before I begin with presenting the material I had collected, I would like to clarify the meaning of what I meant by ‘bad parenting’ and ‘child’s development. For parenting style to be considered bad, it means that it has a harmful impact on a child’s psychology and demeanor. Some of the examples of a bad parenting apart from the most obvious one, physical abuse, is emotional abuse which is as harmful and bad as physical one. Emotional abuse is withholding affection, setting high expectations without showing support, overprotectiveness, need to control every aspect of a child’s life, not respecting privacy and personal choices, lacking support, comparing the child, devalue child’s achievements, not respecting child’s feelings and needs, being a poor example, using a criticizing tone etc. (Arora, M., 2019) These patterns of behavior towards the child can have a huge impact on its development, which is to be discussed in the analysis part. When discussing the term “child’s development’’ the focus is drawn to the emotional development, which is also to be discussed in the analysis section.
For the purpose of gathering the qualitative data needed for the analysis, the sources will be primary (Stories, diaries, interviews, confessions, forums, discussions, TV shows…) The data will be presented in the form of coding frame and segmentation (units of analysis, units of coding).
For the coding frame, I have chosen three main categories and three subcategories for each of the main category and provided a description of what each main category is about.
Based on the type of research I want to conduct, the analysis will require combined concept-driven and data-driven strategy.
In the main part of the paper, the analysis, I am going to present actual stories of the individuals who experienced any sort of maltreatment and bad parenting from either one or both of the parents. The stories come in the forms of an interview, a psychological therapy, a diary and a confession in an internet forum. Since I am not a journalist myself, I did not allow myself to go out and ask random young adults about their experiences but rather used the data from the internet, life stories and confession by young adults which have been broadcast on The Dr. Phil Show . The primary data, or confessions, will be presented in the form of segmentation-units of analysis and units of coding for the purpose of easier understanding and more systematical and ordered presentation of the issue.
‘My Dad Lives In His Own Delusional World Where He Believes He Is More Superior Than God’ says a teen on Dr. Phil show
February 17, 2020
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grCYx4dyERY
Teenager’s story: “Growing up has definitely been a nightmare with my dad. He controls my mom, my brother and me. When it came do discipline, my dad’s methods were completely outrageous. He’d throw us outside in the middle of winter in the clothes that we were wearing. He wouldn’t let us put shoes on. He was so aggressive. He was angry. He was always ready to punch. Physical abuse from my dad has been extreme. He used to hit us with closed fist. He had a very condescending attitude and would always talk down to me. My dad was constantly humiliating me. 1[I suffered with extreme depression for several years], and my dad told me one time that If I was to kill myself to not make a mess on his carpet. I couldn’t believe that I was hearing that from my father, who brought me into this world. My dad lives in his own delusional world where he believes he is more superior than God.’’
Rae’s story
‘I Was Never Taught Love’, Claims Teen Whose Parents Say She Has Violent Meltdowns
November 25, 2019
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eN-uXz1dY_E
Rae: 1[ “I have a lot of depression, a lot of anxiety, and I do lash out a lot due to I think I might have PTSD from everything I’ve been through and it causes me to get angry because my whole life I’ve been raised on anger. I was never taught love and it’s just my initial reaction and I wanna fix it.’’]
Dakota’s story
‘My Parents Have Made Me The Way I Am’, Claims Self-Described rebel
October 10, 2017
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeBmvQlHG0E&t=114s
Dakota: 1[“I’m not sorry for the way I behave. My parents have made me the way I am’’]. My mom says I’m a troubled teen but in reality we’re both troubled. While I was growing up, both of my parents were drug addicts. My parents weren’t around and I didn’t have a structure. My mom would constantly leave me. She would always tell me she’d be right back, and she wasn’t back for a whole week. One time, I saw my mom get arrested, and being put handcuffs. My mom would steal, she would take money from my piggy bank. It was very, very upsetting for me. My dad was never there for me. The first time I ever had a visitation with my dad, we were in a small, white room with a Sheriff and a Social Worker that monitored our visitation at all times. We spent Christmases and birthdays in a small white room. 2[I’m very upset and angry with my parents. I hold tons of resentment.] Because of my parents’ addiction problem, it put me into the Foster Care System. My parents expect me to be some pristine, perfect, “stereotypical’’ kid. It’s hard to understand why they would expect so much out of me when I always expected something out of them and they’ve never given it back.’’
‘I Rebel Because My Mom Was Too Strict On Me’, Says Teen
May 4, 2018
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VavGuEBr9EU
Teen’s story: “I haven’t seen my mom in months because she’s so overbearing and religious. My mom thinks pop music is satanic and that every skirt over the knee is sinful. One time in fifth grade I slept over at my friend’s house and told my mom I was going to church with her when I wasn’t. When my mom found out she grounded me for two months. I used to go to an art high school. I had a lot of friends who were gay and my mom thought they were dragging me into sin and that I was gonna become a bad person. My mom pulled me out of that school and put me in some weird Mormon charter school. 1[I was so miserable, I started failing classes on purpose and skipping school twice a week. Now that I’m grown up, I rebel because my mom was too strict on me.’’]
Shriyia’s story
“What does it feel like to have overprotective parents?’’ A question asked on Quora.
December 31, 2016
Source: https://www.quora.com/What-does-it-feel-like-to-have-overprotective-parents
Shriyia: It’s extremely annoying. You’re the only one in your whole group of cousins, school friends and college friends that doesn’t get to do even basic things that they get to do, like meet friends for an ice cream in broad daylight, or have the permission to call up a friend at 12 for birthday wishes. And you are still waiting for permission to come back from college at 6 instead of 5. 1[It gets annoying and you tend to lose hope. Some of them rebel, while some get depressed while a majority of them just feel it’s pointless and accepts it the way it is. And the worst is if you are an obedient child]. I’ve always been that and my parents have been proud of me. But I’m 22 now and it gets annoying. So when my friends make plans and I decide it’s high time they give me a little freedom, nothing really happens. 2[I rebel and they see me do that but they still tell no. So it’s basically not only losing out on the fun with other people, but you’re doing that at the cost of the good daughter tag.]
What kind of parents cause social anxiety? A question asked on Quora
February 28, 2018
Source: https://www.quora.com/What-kind-of-parents-cause-social-anxiety
Anonymus’ story: “Basically, my parents never knew I existed, except for feeding and clothing me and making sure I had a place to sleep. 1[I think of myself as an orphan.] I cannot remember either of my parents ever asking me “How are you?” or asking “How was your day?’’. They were completely detached from me, doing whatever they wanted to do, with no interest in my existence. If I was sick or needed to go to the doctor for some reason, they would first accuse me of faking the illness. My mother then would get the “chore” of having to deal with me, in taking me to the doctor. She would let me know what a waste of time that was for her and how much of a pain it was. 2[I still feel intensely guilty when I get sick.] 3[My father had sudden explosive episodes and I just avoided him entirely.’’]
Presenting the results= Main analysis
The research question I had come up with for my analysis is, personally, quite interesting and that’s why I had chosen it in the first place. I had analyzed stories, interviews and confessions of teenagers who admitted that their parents had a negative impact on their emotional well-being. If I was to conduct a full research, adding even more individuals and also the parents’ side of the story, it would be too long. The qualitative analysis has a limitation when it comes to the number of our samples (In this case the samples are people’s stories). Another limitation, I think, is not the full story of the affected individuals. I believe they presented only a part of what they really had experienced. Again, if they had said everything, the research would have been too long.
Are children affected by the behavior of their parents? A psychological theory, behaviorism, states that it is. What’s more, affected not only exclusively by their parents, but by the whole environment. In my research paper I was particularly curious about the bad and harmful parenting and its effect on a child’s development because I’ve personally heard stories from quite a few people about the issues they had with their family members, and also observed rebellious and self-destructive behavior in many young adults. For the purpose of this research I used primary qualitative data and qualitative content analysis. I have come up with some interesting results which had been presented in the analysis section, in a form of coding frame and a data matrix. Turns out, that psychological disorders, such as depression and anxiety, are present in 6 of 7 individuals. Another common trait of these individuals is rebellious behavior which generated as a consequence of strict rules, restrictions and overprotectiveness. Rebellious behavior reported 4 of 7 individuals. Negative self-image is present in 4 of 7 people and sense of guilt experienced 3 of 7 individuals.
References
a) Second hand sources
Arora, M. (2019). First parenting [Online] Available at: https://parenting.firstcry.com/articles/bad-parenting-signs-effects/
Cherry, K. (2019). Very well mind [Online] Available at: https://www.verywellmind.com/behavioral-psychology-4157183
b) First hand sources:
[Online] Available at: https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/my-dad-lives-in-his-own-delusional-world-where-he-believes-he-is-more-superior-than-god-teen-claims/vi-BB104WFK
[Online] Available at: http://thehideout.org.uk/children/your-stories/
[Online] Available at: https://www.quora.com/What-kind-of-parents-cause-social-anxiety
[Online] Available at: https://www.quora.com/What-does-it-feel-like-to-have-overprotective-parents
socially?q=aggressive%20father
[YouTube] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VavGuEBr9EU
[YouTube] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeBmvQlHG0E&t=114s
[YouTube] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eN-uXz1dY_E
